A sharply observed comedic weekend in the outer suburbs of Australia

Laugh aloud farcical weekend in the outer suburbs where ride-on mowers rule and even the pizza delivery boy is eye candy.
Book Info
Title: 
Our Tiny, Useless Hearts
Author: 
Toni Jordan
Publisher: 
Text Publishing

Toni Jordan reads like she would make a great stand-up comic.  Jordan's timing is impeccable and her words pile up into hilarious and improbable scenarios. And then there's the sex. There's quite a bit of that in this story but not all of it desired or planned.

Janice, the microbiologist, visits her sister whose husband has recently teamed up with one of his daughter's teachers. Her hair is a cascade of shaggy dark blonde ringlets: the kind of haircut that takes three different products to texturise it, the type that has its own name - the Rachel or the Gwyneth. Jordan has done her research: each character brings their own particular interest and language into the farce which makes the humour more incisive.

Over the next forty-eight hours a series of comings and goings turns up a string of surprises which keep Janet on her toes until she starts smashing her sister's prized crystal. I don't think I'll spoil anything by sharing with you the moment when Janice awakes from a wild dream of seduction to find an unexpected male visitor with 'pecs shiny like a Ken doll's' in the room with her: I flutter one lid. 'Please tell me you're here because you're moonlighting as a surprise volunteer naked door-to-door mattress inspector.'

I read this in one sitting.  I reckon it would be a great novel for your beach bag or lounging beside a pool or feet up on a verandah somewhere. 

Reviewer: Pamela Greet